Loving Winter

Chapter One

Winter

I can see Gabe snoring soundly through the open bathroom door and the crack I left open to our bedroom. The look of peace on his face is so different from that intense stare he wears when he’s awake. He looks more innocent and youthful without the tension he carries when he’s alert. It’s a beautiful face, masculine and strong, yet captivating. But I can hardly appreciate it now. 

All I can think is that it’s the face of my baby’s father.

I’m pregnant. 

Uncontrollable sobs rack my body as the full weight of my situation comes crashing down upon me. My family is dead. Athena and her men have won. Everyone in town is against me. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide except here at the clubhouse if Mark continues to allow my presence. But my place here seems to be growing shakier by the day. And if Athena or the Blackmoor heirs ever find out I’m alive, they’ll most likely want to kill me. 

Then the full implication of that fact sends a jolt of horror through my chest. If they want me dead, then what about Gabe? He probably won’t just get in trouble with the rest of the Devil’s Sons if they’re implicated for hiding me. He could actually be in serious danger if the Blackmoor heirs find out he’s been keeping me a secret. I wouldn’t put it past them to kill him just for hiding me here. Deep, bitter sadness intensifies my tears as I realize how much he’s put on the line for me. He’s risked his place with the club to stand up for me. He’s said as much. And he’s asked them to put their relationship with the Blackmoor heirs on the line to keep me here. But he’s staked his very life on keeping me safe. And I’ve recklessly put him in the crosshairs numerous times now.

Of course, that doesn’t excuse the fact that he stalked me, basically kidnapped and imprisoned me, gave me to his friends to use for their own pleasure when we got in a fight, and now he’s knocked me up. He’s completely taken away my agency in my own life. And now I, the former princess of Blackmoor, once promised to marry Dean Blackmoor and become the town’s queen someday, am going to have a biker’s baby. The prospect is mortifying. How far I’ve fallen in this world in only a few short months. I can’t do anything about the death of my family or the loss of my birthright beyond exacting revenge on those responsible. But do I need to have this baby? In that one regard, I do have options. 

Pressing my hand to my belly, I attempt to feel the small being growing inside me. Nothing moves or gives any slight indication it’s there. My stomach feels as strong and flat as ever. Honestly, at this point, the baby’s not yet a real thing. Just an idea. One I could get rid of with no one being the wiser. Then I could finish my plans for revenge. And after that? Well, I don’t know just yet. Unless I plan on wiping out the whole of Blackmoor, it would probably be best for me to leave and start a new life somewhere else. Perhaps I could head toward Boston or a bigger city, where I could disappear into a crowd and never be recognized. 

The thought sends a sharp stab of loss into my core. The prospect of leaving Gabe, not just Gabe, but the strange little mishmash family the bikers seem to be, tears me apart. Despite my reservations, I truly have grown close to them all. Gritting my teeth, I force the thought from my mind. I don’t have the luxury of being soft right now. I have decisions to make, and I need to think about what’s best for my future, not just what’s made me happy in the here and now. If I sit by and do nothing, everything, as it stands, will most likely unravel anyhow, and I have too much on the line to just accept what fate has doled out to me. 

Taking several deep, steadying breaths, I wipe the tears from my face and pull myself together. Snagging a towel from the bathroom cabinet, I wrap it around my body. I brush my teeth quickly, giving them a good scrub. Then I collect my two spent pregnancy tests and quietly slip into the hall. At this time of night, the house is entirely silent, the rooms dark. Everyone’s sleeping soundly but me. Tiptoeing through the living room and past the kitchenette toward the back door, I slip outside and head to the dumpster at the corner of the drive. I don’t dare simply throw the tests away in the bathroom trash. Someone might see them and start asking questions. 

As quietly as I can, I open the lid to the trash and drop them inside. Then I sneak back through the door and head to Gabe’s room. As I slip inside the door, I notice he’s still sleeping soundly, his lips slightly parted as he snores softly. I take another moment to study him in the dim light of the room. He’s one of the most impressive and gorgeous men I’ve ever laid eyes on. The sheer size and power of his body are something that’s caught my attention from the start. And his intimidating presence has always left me giddy. But seeing him asleep is new for me. It opens a window to his more vulnerable side, and once again, I’m captivated by his beauty. Even with his stunning blue eyes closed, his facial features are sharp and perfect. I have to admit, we would make a beautiful baby. 

Pressing my palm to my stomach once more, I take a moment to consider the life growing inside me. I’m not ready for it. It’s too soon. Besides, having a baby with someone my family used to equate to a guard dog is indecent. I can’t keep it.

As gently as I can, so as not to disturb Gabriel, I slip back under the covers, turning my back to him as I lie on my side. What has my life become? Fresh tears sting my eyes and blur my vision, but I fight to stay silent this time. I don’t want to alert Gabriel with my sobs. 

Then, as if sensing my distress, Gabe shifts, his arms wrapping around me in his sleep, and he pulls me close to him, pressing my back against his chest and pulling my hips into his as he spoons me. My tears track down my cheek as conflict wars within me. It feels so good in his arms, so warm and comforting. But the last person I will be able to confide in is Gabe. He wants this. I know he does. He’s the one who forced me to take his cum inside me, on multiple occasions, when he was claiming me. A baby is his way of tying me to him forever. He thinks I can’t leave if I’m carrying his child. 

And he might be right—if I weren’t planning on getting rid of it. The thought sends an unbidden wave of guilt through me. But I push the emotion aside, tamping it down until I can breathe a little easier. I can’t think about the life growing inside me. I need to think about my own life and my plans for the future. Revenge. That’s what I need. Not a baby. 

The stress of it all leaves me feeling trapped and confused. I want to just surrender to the comfort of Gabe’s embrace. That he sought me out, even in his sleep, warms my chest in a way that I’m not ready to accept. Not when I know what I must do. Still, I want him, and a dark, tingling arousal tightens my belly at knowing his cum from earlier tonight is inside me. Why does something so exceedingly erotic have to lead to something so life-altering in a way that I just can’t handle right now? I can feel that Gabe’s feelings for me are growing stronger. He all but said it in the way he made love to me tonight. 

And my feelings are becoming harder and harder to resist. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Gabriel speaks to my desires in a way unlike anyone ever has before. He turns me on, and I can’t seem to get enough of him. Rough or soft, when he takes me, I feel intoxicatingly alive. But I can’t let it go further than that. I have to focus on Athena and teaching her a lesson, showing her that she can’t just rip me from my life without consequences. And this baby will only get in the way. 

Pressing my eyes closed, I fight to subdue my tears, to focus on my next step in revenge rather than the guilt growing low in my belly. Slowly, I start to sink into unconsciousness, but the dreams that greet me there are troubling, full of dark unknowns and ugly deaths.